


Broken Toys

by LadyDarksbane



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: And She Has A Potty Mouth, Dark Brotherhood - Freeform, Gen, Listener - Freeform, Oneshot, Rivalry, Seriously Kassia Does Not Play Well With Others, Thieves Guild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14498874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDarksbane/pseuds/LadyDarksbane
Summary: The Listener of the Dark Brotherhood reacts badly when she catches a thief trying to pickpocket her housecarl and Brynjolf has other ideas about her.





	Broken Toys

**Author's Note:**

> This plot bunny came to me while I was sick recently with a fever. I remembered most of the idea and turned it into a oneshot.

Kassia Serano swaggered away from the blacksmith’s forge, smiling. She had handed over ten pinches of fire salts, gotten her blades sharpened and coaxed a few bits of gossip from the fellow. Things at Honorhall had been going quite well since Old Grelod had been found dead, her throat slit and no one had a real clue who the killer was other than the rumor that one of the orphans had completed the Black Sacrament to call the Dark Brotherhood.

She headed into the market a few steps away from the forge with her housecarl, Argis the Bulwark in tow. Though he would follow her faithfully to hell and back, it was clear from the bored expression on his face that he’d rather be anywhere but here. Fighting dragons or Forsworn. He'd even take bandits over shopping, at this point.

Her next stop was at Madesi’s.  Though she wasn’t fond of coming to Riften, she did like the Argonian jeweler. As she browsed his wares, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Reaching for one of the concealed daggers at her back, Kassia glanced over her shoulder and caught sight of a most curious thing.

A pickpocket.

A pickpocket reaching for Argis’s coin purse and the big lug seemed none the wiser. Kassia wasn’t having that. She spun swiftly and with a flick of her wrist let the dagger fly, watching as it careened toward the thief, finding purchase in the man’s upper chest.

He cried out in pain and she sprang into action, tumbling forth and casting a spell to immobilize him, while she activated the stealth ability from her Black Sacrament armor. Cupping her hands together, her next spell a few moments later once her magicka had replenished was invisibility on Argis and the thief. She motioned him to follow her, dragging the paralyzed thief with him.

This matter would be dealt with… immediately.

Argis stayed close to Kassia, trailing behind her as they made their way through the market, across the canal and through the courtyard of the Temple of Mara. From the courtyard, she entered a small cemetery. From Astrid, she had learned the “secret” entrance to the Thieves Guild hideout was through here, but she had never used it herself. The two times Kassia had come to the Guild, she had always used the entrance through the Ratway and had gone into the Ragged Flagon and she had always dealt with Delvin Mallory.

It was all too easy to figure out how to get into the hideout. Kassia curled her upper lip insolently. No wonder they were in such decline. She pressed the button hidden on the sarcophagus and swiftly cast a spell to muffle the noise of the lid scraping as it opened. Once that was open, there was an additional pull chain that opened a concealed panel. She slipped through it and Argis followed her.

Now it was time she had a word with the man in charge to make her position clear.

***

It was business as usual for the members of Riften’s Thieves Guild. Many of them wandered about or chatted while they stood around the cooking pit. A few were engaged in target practice with their bows while others played cards or dice. Mercer Frey brooded over a missive he held in his hands and yelled across the Cistern at his second-in-command, Brynjolf, about the dwindling profits. Maven wasn’t happy and was breathing done his neck so in return he was breathing down his second’s.

The redheaded second stalked across the Cistern, taking it all in stride, explaining what jobs were in the works, but Mercer still kept yelling. There was no pleasing him. But Brynjolf was sure he could smooth things over with Maven. He always had. He just needed to find someone suitable to take care of Goldenglow and she would be happy once more. He thought he had found the perfect candidate months earlier when he’d encountered a Dunmer lass in the Riften market, but she turned him down flat.

Yet none of them suspected that same Dunmer lass, now an assassin, had crept into their midst.

***

Kassia hefted the thief over her shoulder, nearly groaning under his weight. The rotten bastard didn’t look this heavy. He must be at least fifteen stones.  It made creeping to the desk silently even more difficult, but if anyone could do it would be an assassin from the Dark Brotherhood. She had survived an attack by the Penitus Oculatus, had dealt with being betrayed by Astrid, and had successfully assassinated an Emperor. Compared to that, infiltrating the Thieves Guild was child’s play. She could have done this when she was a child living on the streets of Blacklight.

Quickly quaffing a draught of strength, she leapt upon Mercer’s desk with the thief in tow and swiftly became visible. It brought many of the members of the Guild on guard as they unsheathed weapons or trained bows at her.

“What in blazes is the meaning of this?” Mercer growled, taking note of her shadowed armor and big blond warrior following her.

She stared down Mercer from her crouched position, her bright crimson eyes blazing. “I am Kassia Serano, Listener and Leader of the Dark Brotherhood. I come with a warning for you, Guild Master.”

Mercer cocked a brow at her, his insolent sneer matching hers. “And what pray tell is that, Listener?”

Her eyes narrowed dangerously and she gritted her teeth.“I caught your wretched little thief here trying to steal from my housecarl in the marketplace. That’s a big no-no. You may have had a deal with Astrid, but that bitch is dead, and I do not negotiate. So I am going to tell you how it’s going to be. My sanctuary, my homes, and my housecarls are off-limits. If I catch any of your people in them, I will send them back to you one bloody piece at a time. Are we clear? Trust me, Guild Master, you do not want to fuck with my Dark Brotherhood. I’m not Astrid.”

Kassia pulled out the Blade of Woe and ran it down the front of Mercer’s armor.

Mercer’s sneer increased, taking over more of his expression. His caustic voice grated on Kassia’s nerves. He batted her blade away. “ _We_ do not negotiate so I’d say we have a problem. People come to us and ask us to acquire the items we acquire and we do not turn away paying customers. Just like the Brotherhood. Astrid understood that. Obviously you do not.”

The thief on Mercer’s desk groaned in pain as Kassia’s paralysis spell wore off. “Then your subordinate is going to die… a slow, agonizing death.” A chilling smile slid across her lips. “My blade, the one still in his chest, had a very special poison coating it, and only I have the antidote for it.”

Kassia backflipped off the desk and landed on her feet beside Argis, holding a little vial in her hand. Her smile shifted into a grin. Kassia was enjoying this far too much. “What’s it going to be?”

***

Brynjolf had been watching from the far side of the Cistern and had slowly made his way up during the altercation with the infiltrator on Mercer’s desk. He had seen that Dunmer before, the way she moved was so familiar. It had to be the same one he’d met months earlier. He hadn’t heard much of the conversation between Mercer and the Dunmer, but he’d seen enough to glean the gist of it. If he could smooth things over enough, just maybe he could get her to help him. It was a long shot, but he had to try.

“Mercer, we’ve always worked with the Dark Brotherhood. Delvin recently outfitted the new sanctuary. I hope the upgrades were to your liking, lass.” Brynjolf stepped in even as his eyes glanced over Vipir, convulsing from the poison the lass used. Usually Vipir didn’t get caught. He was one of the best pickpockets in the Guild. This lass must have extraordinary senses to have noticed him pickpocketing her housecarl.

Kassia threw an impish grin at him, “Look at you, Red, being all nicey-nicey. Ugh, how disgustingly patronizing.” She wiggled the little vial in her fingers and tossed it in the air a time or two, watching Brynjolf gasp as it came close to hitting the stone floor before she caught it. “Just so you know, yes, the upgrades were nice, but we’ve made further upgrades of our own. The Dawnstar Sanctuary is a fortress and just so no one gets any ideas about fucking with us, there is a dragon guarding it as well.”

“Look, lass, we didn’t specifically send any of our people after you or your housecarl. Vipir was just working the market. We do that. He would’ve recognized your armor and steered clear of you, but your bodyguard, he must have viewed as fair game. It won’t happen again.”

“Brynjolf!” Mercer barked.

Brynjolf slid a sly glance at Mercer, “Just listen to me, Mercer. This very well might be to our advantage. If the lass can break into the Cistern without any of us being aware of it, think of what else she could do.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Mercer growled.

“Hey, don’t talk about me like I’m not standing here!” Kassia cried out, bewildered that he’d even suggest such a thing. She’d turned him down once before. Thievery wasn’t her thing anymore.

“Mercer, think. She’s the perfect infiltrator. Goldenglow, even our Vex couldn’t get in, but if the lass here can pull off assassinating our esteemed Emperor, getting what we need from Aringoth should be child’s play.”

Kassia huffed impatiently, “No way, no how, fuck you, Red. Let me tell you a thing or two.” She nimbly hopped back up on the desk, yanked her blade out of Vipir, who had begun to writhe forcefully. She uncorked the vial and poured it over the entrance wound. “I thieved to survive as a kid. Now I’ve put the Brotherhood back on top. I enjoy the kill. There is no joy in ripping off a merchant or taking a pretty bauble off some unsuspecting fool, but killing… running my blade across their throat and knowing I hold their life in my hands, that gets me off. What you do is child’s play and I’ve had my fill of broken toys.”

She hopped off the desk, “Come, Argis. Let’s go.”

…  


End file.
